"Oh, you’re not going to get it."
I can remember myself as a freshman. When “present-me” reflects back on “freshman-me”, I shake my head. If my present self were to have seen my past self now, there is no way I would’ve believed that I would make it this far. I’ve gotten to the point in my college/ROTC career where you can scope out the kids who aren’t going to make it. And trust me when I say it, it’s a miracle that I made it.
For one, I was a college programmer who had no scholarship. My first semester of college was a rough one and being in ROTC was definitely a culture shock. Not only did I struggle with managing my time, I also struggled miserably with the PT aspect (which as you will know, is a giant portion of ROTC training.) Plus, I had a no-good boyfriend that would rather me skip class to spend time with him, than see me get good grades. (Stupid and my own fault, I know.) As well, I was commuting from VB and had gotten in an accident, leaving my parents to have to drive me everyday. So we’re leaving around 4:45 am every morning. This left me on academic probation AND aptitude probation. When I say “hot mess,” I mean HOT MESS. For real.
The scholarship process is competitive, so for those who don’t pick up any scholarships, automatically go up for advanced standing (another, smaller scholarship that guarantees you a commission.) I was just talking to a girl who had recently received it and was asking her what I had to do to get it. She asks me about my GPA (which obviously sucks because I failed a class), so I tell her it’s a 2.5. She immediately cuts me off and goes, “Oh, you’re not going to get it.” I was dumbfounded.
My attitude as well was apathetic. But I had a revelation. I thought to myself, why am I acting this way?? I DO CARE! I’m not getting paid to be here! So, the only thing that is keeping me here is pure motivation. Get it together.
From my sophomore year on, I got more motivated and started volunteering for company and battalion billets. I had a small group of people that profoundly inspired me. They took time out of their own day to work out with me on non-pt days and even weekends. These guys truly showed me what it was to be a good leader; a genuine leader. I will forever credit them for helping to mold me into the motivated midshipman I am today as well as demonstrating what true leadership looks like.
The time for advanced standing submission was rapidly approaching, and I was getting nervous and anxious. I could have sweat blood with the stress I put myself through over it. I emailed my adviser several times, asking about my chances Chances were looking bleak, so I started looking at alternative. All the while I was still wishing for it. Over the course of 6 months, while we waited I had to have prayed to God over 500 times for it. I’m talking about multiple times a day. I can say this was definitely a turn in my faith for the better. Well, we got the results, and I got picked up. Come to find out, they were not going to have a board for my year, which means no one would have gotten picked and would have gotten dis-enrolled from the program. But they decided to have a board last minute. So as opposed to finding out in early May, we found out in mid-July. Imagine the anxiety. I thought to myself, it had to be God.
After a long and arduous journey, the same girl that failed an official PRT and was on academic probation her first year, is dipping her Ensign bars. “Oh, you’re not going to get it.” LIES.
Case in point:
Don’t let anyone ever tell you what your fate will be.
"Those who are the most successful are not those that are intelligent or perfect, but those who persevere; Those who are willing to work harder than anybody else, for longer. It’s those 22 seconds that make a difference."
I can say it, I am lionhearted. I am a survivor. :)